The Uninspired Hero

Lifting weights doesn’t always have to be so serious. Often, it’s about having fun as well. Such was the case when we sat down to talk to our Central “Athlete of the Month” Bobby Burns and his coach Jeremy Schraw. We quickly realized is this would not be a normal (or beneficial) interview. It was, however, absolutely hilarious. We hope you enjoy reading their exchange as much as we did!

Why did you decide to join ASF?

Bobby: Inspired by the movie Magic Mike, I was determined to get to sub-10% bodyfat, learn how to dance, and ultimately realize my dream of becoming a Male Entertainer. I already had the luscious locks. Now all I needed was to get in better shape and learn how gyrate my hips to Genuwine’s “Pony”. After thorough internet research one night in Aug ’14… I closed my browser session and began googling “gyms in austin”. It became clear from Mark Roger’s bio and pictures that he shared in my goals and would be able to help.

What were your goals when you started?

Bobby: Be the best pound-for-pound deadlifter in the gym. Get a killer 8-pack of abs. Memorize at least one decent routine to “Raining Men”.

How close are you to meeting them?

Bobby: I was the best lb-for-lb deadlifter the minute I walked through the door… CHECK. As for the 8 pack, Jeremy has me doing obliques all the time. He tore one once. That along with my healthy protocol of dehydration and sitting a desk all day should land me a killer set of abs by the end of 2016. I haven’t made much progress on the dancing front. Mike Dolan has been gracious enough to dance for me in between sessions with his clients. I think I’ll make decent progress this year.

How has Bobby improved since you started working with him?

Jeremy: Bobby’s ability to provide a convincing rationale for why he cannot or should not do the prescribed work has evolved admirably during our time together.  Whereas he use to cancel sessions just by saying he wasn’t coming in, he now cancels them by inventing elaborate hoaxes (e.g. complicated dental surgeries, ridiculous stories about “having a job” etc.) Preposterous.  How could anyone with that haircut actually have a job I ask you?

Bobby: My body’s looking great.  Don’t get me wrong, my neck/shoulders feel like garbage and my knees click all the time. But, at least I look good right? It’s been a struggle to keep my mind right. Heavy squats, deadlifts, listening to Jeremy/Jordan/Dana’s music, and the ever present smog of nose-tork is not a recipe for intellectual success. I still drink a lot of vodka, so my preferred spirit hasn’t really changed.

What challenges have you had to overcome, if any, since starting out at ASF?

Bobby: Being the best deadlifter, it’s a lot of pressure to be an example for my teammates and make them better. I’ve always got to set the tone. You know, it’s like “Hey guys, if I can lift damn near 700lbs while training once a month, I’m sure if you bust your ass for a few years, you’ll eventually be able to lift my warm-up weight.”

Any surprises since starting at ASF?

Bobby: The dedication of the trainers… I mean Mike literally lives at the gym and Jeremy’s usually kind enough to grunt a few commands at me once a session. Occasionally Jeremy actually gets the number of sets we’ve done so far right… That’s a huge surprise. Also, Jordan actually knows what “terminal velocity” means which is astounding. Oh and Charlie still hangs out with us… there’s a ton of surprises. I’m always kept on my toes… mostly because Jeremy doesn’t give proper cues on squat setup.

Why do you like working out with Jeremy?

Bobby: Success is balance… up and down. Sine and cosine… And a sine curve repeats itself every 2 pi radians… pi… pizza pie… which is why my diet is primarily focused on Fiery Hawaiian from Domino’s and a Pint of regret flavored Häagen-Dazs… What does this have to do with the question you asked me? Nothing…

What is it about Jeremy/ASF that keeps you coming back each week?

Bobby: They have this auto-charge my credit card thing… every time I say to myself “today’s my last session”, boom I get some email saying I have 20 more sessions. Real pain in the ass truth be told. But I’m all about overcoming adversity.

Bobby: If you want to be successful it’s all about consistency. Some will tell you that means consistently showing up, consistently doing extra work, etc. But I think it’s much more than that. Are you consistently getting enough rest? No. well then don’t lift. Skip that workout. Are you consistently a better natural athlete than all of your team mates? Well then you’re probably going to lift more. Do you consistently have longer arms than most primates? Well then you’re deadlift is going to be awesome. Consistency.

Also don’t be blind… they move the equipment constantly.

Anything else you’d like to add about your experience with Bobby?